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Common Newbie Mistakes
Common mistakes newbies make in processing and targeting
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Hi Bonny:
Bonny asks: "What are the biggest mistakes newbies make in processing and targeting?"
Very important question.
Bonny from my emails and from what I've read on the boards both here and at the old NAP site, these are the most common errors newbies make with processing and targeting:
*Trying to use a process without having mastered each step or segment first. Processes are best learned "Karate Kid" style. Do each segment until it feels comfortable. Then put all of the process together.
*Going after huge targets upon learning a process. Some people pick some of the most highly resisted targets imaginable. I'm not joking. I've received emails from folks going after life long phobias and traumatic conditions with a process just out of the box. No small wonder the process groaned and sputtered. Some people have blown out phobias their first time at bat if they used one of energy processes correctly. Many times newbies will use processes less suited for the target they're going after.
*Getting rid of emotions and feelings. No matter what's posted both here and on the main website there are folks who miss our basic Emoclear message of fully feeling feelings and allowing them to be there without trying to get rid of them or keep them. Don't get rid of them--allow them to be there.
*Not taking the time to get the very important intuitive message. Some people, still wishing to hurry through and get rid of their feelings, will give lip service to getting that important intuitive communication from our feelings. This communication is of extreme value. It let's us know what's going on and what to do. Ignoring it generally means the issue will soon land back on your plate. Learn from your emotional stuckness. It's got a message for you. Once you've mastered message getting, it's a very rapid process. You don't need to put it into words. All you need to do is "know" it viscerally. Like someone driving a car they "know" when to turn or when to apply the breaks or speed up. They don't think about it. They "know" and do.
*Demanding instant gratification and pushing hard. Behind these are resistance and low frustration tolerance. New York was not built in a day. Newbies are best off giving themselves time when they are learning a new process and using it. Pressuring ourselves tends to slow learning down.
*Going directly after compulsions instead of the feelings beneath them. This is a common challenge. Taking on a compulsion by feeling it and trying to directly clear it may give temporary relief. However that compulsion or one like it will jump right back in the breach. It's being stimulated by unfelt and undigested overwhelm. That's the real target that newbies miss. Instead they will become involved in tail chasing.
*Not knowing how to deal with everyday confusion trances involved with learning. Some folks, with performance anxiety, will unconsciously create confusion trances which initially make learning difficult. There are several basic ways to deal with everyday confusion when it arrises:
(1) Plain old persistance without self-pressuring lets confusion die out.
(2) Getting a feel of the confusion and playing with it. Shrinking it. Expanding it. Mirgrating it. The kind of stuff seen in the Trance-Former.
(3) A favorite way of dealing with confusion is to feel the confusion, label it "That confusion" and step back from it before you dialogue with it and respectfully ask it what it wants.
*Missing that a target may have aspects or different scenes involved. Without experiencing these different aspects or scenes, the process seems to be crazy glued to the deck. Learning to recognize multiple aspects is an important part of newbie learning.
*Not recognizing a polar target which is formed out of a conflict between parts. You clear or integrate one side of the conflict and the other side grows the zapped part back. Here both sides better be addressed.
*Targeting the untargetable. This is where someone with a neurological anomalie or biologically based mood problem tries to clear it or integrate it with a process. The mood stays put. Better the mood gets dialogued with and asked where it's coming from. Sometimes other interventions like altering diet, sun light, dealing with allergies, getting enough sleep etc will be better suited. Infrequently an actual medical condition like a hormonal problem may be the culprit. Time to visit a medical doctor or psychiatrist.
*Giving up in the face of low frustration tolerance. This is the "I can't stand it-itis" and "It's too much" kind of trancey thinking that makes some quit. Low frustration tolerance, frustration, and impatience are all viable targets if they appear during the learning process. If they jump in line ahead of your target, go for them. Respectful dialoging with them can be very helpful and instructive.
*Not setting a set time aside to do the work.
*It might be helpful for newbies to check out the common blocks to processing and be able to recognize them. There's a list at:
emoclear.com/processes/blockstotech.html
Take care, Steve