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Awareness Protocol for Persons with Attention Deficit Challenges
AWARENESS PROTOCOL FOR PERSONS WITH ATTENTION DEFICIT CHALLENGES.
The following awareness exercises and meditations would be helpful in building attention and reducing Attention Deficit challenges. Choose the ones which appear most appropriate to your situation and practice one or two daily for no more than 30 or 40 minutes per session.
Take care, Steve
(Zen/Mindfulness has at it's core a seated breath watching approach which builds attention)
MIND SURFING IN THE NOW: A MANUAL OF ZEN/MINDFULNESS.
INTRODUCTION
"Mind Surfing in the Now: A Manual of Zen/Mindfulness" offers zen/mindfulness practices without frills. Rooted in a hybrid of zazen and mindfulness practices, this manual was created for students wanting to know the ins and outs of postures, breathing, and mental practices.
Zen/mindfulness leads to a wordless understanding of life and ourselves. Sometimnes abrupt in its appearance, this understanding is not a product of image or thought, but a clear aprehending of how things are. With zen/mindfulness we learn to overcome our tendency to substitute abstract labels and preconceptions for direct experience. In zen/mindfulness we regard our moments as an opportunity to be aware and to live a full and vitally absorbing life.
This manual provides instruction on:
*Sitting and active zen/mindfulness practice.
*Correct posture and breathing.
*Allowing a focused, nonjudging, and relaxed consciousness.
*Nonconceptual word/phrase practice
Letting go of habitual ways of thinking and responding is not a simple task.
Just reading this manual will only offer someone an "idea" about zen/mindfulness and nonconceptual experience. If this manual is to assist someone in their journey, zen/mindfulness requires application and practice.
Employing zen/mindfulness methods can lead to:
*Experiencing the present without distortion.
*Letting go of compulsive grasping and striving.<
*Having a disciplined consciousness.
*Directly exploring our mental productions.
*Developing patience.
*Experiencing acceptance.
*Gaining emotional balance and naturally processing our feelings.
*Fusing polarities.
*Reducing psychophysical stress.
Many of us struggle with taming our conceptual minds. We may naturally balk at altering habits or facing a certain amount of frustration and pain. This manual was written in the spirit that zen/mindfulness could be made more chewable.
I acknowledge my teacher S.W. Rao and my students who taught me.
May your attention return you again and again to the now. The wave is here! Ride it fully! Let it be there with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it.
Have fun, Steve Mensing
(c) Steve Mensing
***WARNING: Folks with a history of mental illness, trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you will agree to absolve the webmaster, his server, Emoclear.com, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. There is always in any mental or emotional process the possibility that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.***
Back to top ________________________________________________________________________ CHAPTER ONE--ZEN/MINDFULNESS SITTING: THE BASICS
Here are the basics of zen/mindfulness sitting:
(1) HOW LONG WILL YOU SIT? Decide the length of time you will sit. Will you sit from 20 to 35 minutes? You might consider a shorter program at the start until you experience more comfort in your sitting. Within two weeks of steady practice, you might graduate to 30 or 35 minute sitting periods. More details will be offered in Chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(2) CHOOSE A QUIET PLACE: Choose a quiet room for sitting where you will not be disturbed. Read chapter 4: Zen/Mindfulness Practice.
(3) STRAIGHT-BACKED CHAIR: Use a straight-backed chair with a flat and lightly padded seat. Sit on the forward third of the seat. Plant your fee t comfortably on the floor. To increase your comfort, sit on a thin pad. If you are troubled by back problems, place a pillow between your back and the chair's rest. For alternative postures and more details read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(4) FOOT POSITION: Place your feet flat on the floor. Feet better be placed the width of your shoulders. Move feet either slightly forward or backward until you find the most comfortable and stable position. A full-lotus position offers no great benefits for westerners and for many of us this posture is uncomfortable and unduly distracting. If you want to use the traditional full-lotus and other postures, they and straight-backed chair sitting are described in chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(5) STRAIGHT SPINE: Straighten your spine before you align your head. Stretch your back comfortably, then relax. Allow your center of balance to be in your lower abdomen. Abdomen and shoulders are relaxed. Let go of slouching. An upright and straight spine promotes mindfulness and alertness. Keep your shoulders back and your chest open. For more details read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(6) HEAD UPRIGHT: Allow your head to remain comfortably upright. Center your nose over your navel. Slightly tuck in your chin. For more details read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(7) ALLOW EYES TO COMFORTABLY REST: You may either keep your eyes two-thirds open or close them. If eyes are partially left open, gaze 3 to 4 feet ahead on the floor or at a bare wall. Allow eyes to rest. No focusing required. Experienced practitioners, not subject to drowsiness during zen/mindfulness sitting, may close eyes. For more details read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(8) CLOSE MOUTH: Comfortably close your mouth. Keep the tip of your tongue behind your upper front teeth. Swallow any saliva and let go of any air in your mouth to create a partial vacuum. For more details read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(9) REST HANDS COMFORTABLY ON YOUR LAP: Place your right hand, palm up and fingers together, on your lap by your abdomen. Allow your left hand to rest on your right, with only your fingers overlapping. Bring the tips of your thumbs together and let them lightly touch so an oval forms. For more details read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(10) CENTER YOUR SPINE: Sway from side to side in decreasing arcs until your spine is centered. For more deatils read chapter 2: Zen/Mindfulness Posture.
(11) TAKE A DEEP BREATH: Take a deep breath and exhale slowly and fully. Take a second and a third deep breath before you allow your breathing to settle into its natural rhythm. There is no need to manipulate the breath. The breathing will do the breathing. For more details read chapter 3: Zen/Mindfulness Breathing.
(12) ATTEND TO THE BREATH OR BREATH COUNT: To allow your attention to settle, you may either "attend to the breath" or "breath count". In attending to the breath you simply pay attention to your breathing. Here you feel the breath going in and out and stay with it in a relaxed way. In breath counting, you subvocally count each inhalation and exhalation from one to four. Example: Inhale one...Exhale two...Inhale three...Exhale four...And start the counting cycle over again. When thoughts, feelings, or sensations arise, you can say either "thought", "feeling", or "sensation". After labeling each experience, you gently return your attention to your breath or start breath counting over again at one. There is no intention here of getting rid of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations or of keeping them. You are simply bringing your attention back to your breath. Remain as still as possible and complete your scheduled sitting. For more details read chapter 4: Zen/Mindfulness Practice.
Back to top ________________________________________________________________ CHAPTER 2: ZEN/MINDFULNESS POSTURE
POSTURE
Posture is a very important element in zen/mindfulness sitting practice. Without correct posture we face large hurdles in stilling our consciousness, paying gentle attention, and the prospect of an unnecessarily painful sitting.
IS THERE A BEST POSTURE?
Even though the full-lotus has its share of boosters, just about any posture will do for zen/mindfulness if you are balanced, centered, and relaxed with a straight spine and buttocks thrust back. Sitting on a straight-back chair, a seiza bench, or a kneeling chair will give fine results. The full-lotus presents difficulties for many westerners and is not really required. A few spinal injury students may even meet nonconceptual experience while laying on a sofa.
TIPS ON SITTING PRACTICE
*Sit relaxed with your spine straight and your buttocks thrust back. A straight spine keeps your mind alert and slows waves of thought.
*An upright head leads to alertness. Keep head, neck, and spine aligned. Ears are in line with the shoulders and the tip of the nose is in line with the navel.
*Practice sitting in a private and quiet place that is free of visual distractions. The room better not be too light or too dark.
*For many practice is often best done in the evening when we are energetic and less distracted. Some of us may be morning persons and our practice is better at this time.
*You may either close your eyes (This cuts down on stimulous, yet may produce drowsiness for some) or you may keep your eyes open, yet unfocused. Let go of looking at anything save for a plain surface 3 to 4 feet ahead on the floor or a bare wall. When you finish sitting, roll your eyes several times or follow a finger from left to right to regain your focus. If you close your eyes this does not mean you will fall asleep. Remember our eyes are frequently closed when we orgasm. We are alert then.
*Remove any glasses during sitting.
*Keep your chest comfortably up. Soon you will do this unconsciously. *Use a posture that feels best and can be maintained for 30 minutes or so.
*Elbows better be relaxed and hang loosely. Keeping your hands flat, with your palms facing up, can create tension in your elbows and forearms.
*Let go of creating too much pressure against your thumbs. Avoid holding your elbows stiffly at your sides because the pressure on your hands becomes greater.
*Hands slip down? Use a folded napkin in your lap or let your left hand rest within the fingers of the right. Sleepiness or torpor can cause your hands to slip into your lap.
*Daydreaming or drifting thoughts can cause the head to slump. For correction, take a deep breath and raise your chest's sternum. Ears line up with shoulders. The chin tucks in. Return your attention to your breathing or word/phrase practice.
*Lower back ache is common among sitters. Here your lower back muscles lack the strength to support you for any length of time. Do not sit ramrod straight. Lean forward slightly without rounding the back. This cuts down on lower back pressure. Check cusions or padding if used. Too high? Too low? Too hard? Too soft? These contribute to lower back pain.
*Strengthen your lower back with these 2 exercises:
(a) Stand erect and slowly bend over from the base of your spine. Keep your knees and back straight and touch your palms to the floor or as near as you can get. Do not strain or jerk.
(b) Sit on the floor with your legs extended. Bend from the spinal base and attempt to touch your toes. Always keep your legs firmly on the floor. Do not strain or jerk.
*When you complete your sitting, arise slowly. Your hemispheric blood flow may have changed your sense of balance. It will return after you start moving around.
*Socks and trousers can interfere with the full-lotus position.
*Rest right hand, palm upward, on lap and place left hand, palm upward, on top of the right palm. Lightly touch the thumb tips to each other so a flattened circle is formed by the palms and thumbs.
*Bend forward to thrust your buttocks back, then slowly bring the trunk to an errect posture. Torso better be weightless, free from pressure or strain.
*Tip of tongue can touch the rear of the upper teeth.
*A slumped body pressures the organs and can strain muscles and vertebrae. Body and mind are one. Any impairment of the physiological functions can involve consciousnes and disturb clarity and one pointedness.
*Ramrod erectness may show a rigid and close-minded approach to life. A slouchy posture may demonstrate depression or noncaring. These postures are likely to become blocks to practice.
*If your legs fall asleep, it's generally because nerves and veins are pressured. Shift your position either forward or back. If you have circulation problems in your legs, you can help yourself by frequently altering your posture. Rubbing down your legs before and after sitting can be beneficial.
*Intense pain may signal you are overdoing it. Practice better leave you with a sense of well-being and not strong discomfort.
*If you experience burning in your neck, let your attention go to your lower abdomen and allow your shoulders to hang effortlessly.
*Sit for short periods when you first begin Zen/Mindfulness so you can get used to sitting. 5 to 10 minutes at first--more later. Increase to 30 to 35 minutes at a time and then go for 5 to 10 minute walking breaks. If you sit too much at first, you may suffer intense pain before you get a calm mind.
*Neck soreness can result from inclining your head upward, downward, or sideways.
*Bend your body to the right as far as it will go, then to the left. Repeat about 5 times. Start with large arcs, then smaller ones until the trunk is naturally centered.
*To prevent a burning feeling across the shoulder blades, let your shoulders hang effortlessly. Take a deep breath, lift your sternum slightly, and exhale slowly. This will release the tightness in your shoulders. Let go of attempting to straighten your shoulders or pull them back. Your neck and head will ride freely on your spinal column. Let go of consciously focusing on your neck for this can generate pain.
*If you frequently gulp saliva, you may be holding your chin too far forward or your chin is lowered. Remedy: allow your head to come back until your neck touches your shirt collar. Keep your tongue pressed against the roof of your mouth and allow your attention to focus on your lower abdomen.
*Stress and pain often signal your posture is not helpful.
*Our posture may become poor during those time when certain thoughts and images enter our awareness. In reverse our slumping bodies often invite negative imagery and thinking. To remedy this situation bring your body back to good posture which brings alertness and determination. Watch out for leaning to the left or right. Sometimes our body is overly strong on one side. We can build our strength in our weaker areas and compensate. Often adding a slim pillow or a folded towel to the misaligned buttock can help.
*To maintain continuous full attention we can repeatedly generate new tension in our lower abdomen. Here diaphragm muscles oppose abdominal muscles.
*Pain, that doesn't go away when you get up, walk, and stretch for a time, may be an injury.
*Remember: the spine curves slightly at the waist. Your belt is loose and your stomach bulges slightly. Your rear is comfortably thrust back for solid support.
*Let go of beinging attached to seated practice. Although sitting is mindfulness, so is eating, walking, talking, and silence.
TYPES OF POSTURE
CHAIR SITTING: Choose a straight-back chair and place a slim cushion under the rear of your buttocks. Feet, spread the width of your shoulders, better rest firmly on the floor. Keep back straight and comfortably thrust buttocks back. Hands in lap. Chair sitting gives a wide and solid base. Make sure to use a chair that allows your buttocks to go back. Thinly padded metal folding chairs work well here.
SEIZA SITTING: Sit on a low tilted seiza bench or straddle a cushion inserted between heels and buttocks to relieve pressure on heels. Both knees are in line with each other on the mat. Hands may rest on cushion or lap. For extra height, the cushion may be placed on another cushion. Modern kneeling "computer" chairs work like elevated seiza benches. The kneeling "computer" chair can be used if it's stable. For some seiza sitting can produce stress on the knees.
LAYING DOWN: Laying down doesn't come highly recommended because its often a signal for sleeping to most of us. However it may be the only option open to people with back challenges. On a positive note I've known of people who have undergone nonconceptual experience while laying down. In laying down use a relatively hard surface. Lay on a rug with your head slightly supported by a thin pillow or a folded towel. A doubled-over towel can be inserted in the hollow of the back.
FULL-LOTUS: Difficult for most westerners, the full-lotus asks us to place our right foot over our left thigh with our knees touching a padded mat. Knees better be in line with each other. The abdomen better be relaxed and slightly protruded. Hands rest on heels of both feet. Thumbs touch lightly and make an oval. Reverse legs when left foot tires. Ears better be in line with shoulders and tip of nose in line with the navel. Draw chin in a bit. Spine erect with buttocks thrust comfortably out. A single low cusion under rear buttocks is preferable. Thoughts are less likely stirred.
TIPS ON FULL-LOTUS
*Simple stretching exercises can help us adjust to the rigors of the full-lotus. Press on knees. Flexibility can be increased by sitting on the floor with both legs stretched out in front of you. Fold the right leg and place the right foot on the top of the left thigh as comfortably as possible. Hold the right foot with the left hand and gently bounce the right knee with your right hand. Reverse legs and repeat. If possible, place right foot against your inner thigh and bounce the knee in this position. Flexibility comes with practice. Stretch your feet and legs in any position requiring flexibility. Avoid overdoing it.
*Another stretching exercise for the full-lotus: (1) Bring heels to crotch, bend forward with a striaght back, and touch your face to the floor. Place hands on the floor just above your head. Knees better touch the floor and if they don't, rock them gently up and down, stretching the ligaments. Avoid any forcing .
(2) Bring feet together with your legs outstretched. Bend forward and touch your hands to the floor by your feet. Keep back and legs straight. If you can, touch your face to your knees. Avoid forcing.
(3) Extend your legs apart as far as possible. Bend forward, keeping your back and legs straight. Touch your forehead and nose to the floor. Place hands above your head on the floor.
(4)Double back one leg at a time so your foot is by your buttocks. Your instep, shin, and knee better be resting on the pad. Bring back your other leg. Now lie flat on your back. Avoid going too long or you might strain a muscle or ligamant.
*Full-lotus posture requires a cushion and pad. Best pad is 28 inches square, stuffed with kapok or cotton batting 1 and a half inches thick. The "zafu" (a cushion) is round, stuffed with kapok, is 12 inches or larger in diameter. The zafu elevates your buttocks so you won't strain. These pillows are frequently advertised in "Trycycle Magazine". Rolled up blankets may replace the zafu. Cushions better be 3 to 6 inches in thickness.
Back to top ____________________________________________________________________ CHAPTER 3: ZEN/MINDFULNESS BREATHING
ALL ABOUT ZEN/MINDFULNESS BREATHING
*A straight back facilitates good breathing. Breathe from the lower abdomen, not the chest. When inhaling, the lower abdomen becomes slightly convex as it fills with air. When exhaling, the lower abdomen becomes concave.
*Breath is taken in naturally and easily by relaxing the diaphragm and abdominal muscles. At the same time allow the lower abdomen to inflate. Thediaphragm is then contracted while the abdominal muscles are tensed. This prevents chest breathing.
*Expire naturally to avoid strain. Toward the bottom of the exhale, you can contract the diaphragm to make it work in opposition to the contraction of the abdominal muscles.
*After establishing a good posture, take a deep breath, hold it, and comfortably and quietly let it go. Repeat this 3 times, breathing slowly through your nose. Breathe naturally from your belly after you do the 3 deep inhalations and exhalations. Let go of manipulating the breath. Let the breathing take care of itself. Fast, medium, or slow--it does not matter.
*As we mature in practice, our breath almost stops. Breathing becomes longer and longer, softer and softer. At times breathing appears not to be stirring.
*To get your center of gravity down in your lower abdomen, so your breathing is more abdominal, imagine your nostrils are two inches below your navel. In a minute or so let go of this visualization and let your breathing become natural.
*A sagging spine and growing thoughts give way to quickened or jerky breathing. This increases muscular tensions which saps your energy and leads to a lack of clarity.
*If you lose awareness of your breath because it becomes too fine, simply shift your awareness to your posture. More on "Breath counting" and "Following the breath" in the next chapter.
*Let go of making a technique of your breathing--just allow it to happen. Let the breathing do the breathing.
*Breathe through the nose except when stuffed up.
Breath should neither be rasping, nor restricted, neither too long or too short, too weak or too forced.
Back to top ___________________________________________________________________________ CHAPTER 4: ZEN/MINDFULNESS PRACTICE
This chapter will focus on:
Chapter 4.1--Breath Counting
Chapter 4.2--Following the Breath
Chapter 4.3--Sitting Practice in General
Chapter 4.4--Thoughts and Images in Practice
Chapter 4.5--Emotions and Sensations in Practice
Chapter 4.6--Blocks to Practice
BREATH COUNTING
Folks, new to Zen/Mindfulness sitting, will find breath counting a good place to start. This practice helps to focus and bring our attention under gentle control. Breath counting starts with counting each inhalation and exhalation while in motionless posture.
STEP 1: Count the in breath as 1 and the out breath as 2. The next in breath is 3 and the next out breath is 4. When you reach 4, start the count over again: 1...2...3...4. Every time you lose the count or mentally drift, return to 1 and start the count over again.
Tips on step 1:
*Breath counting puts the reasoning mind to rest. Waves of thought are slowed or stilled and a gradual one-pointedness of attention is achieved.
*Be kind to yourself when you lose count or mentally drift. Everyone does it. Proper breath counting is a skill to be learned through trial and error. Without calling yourself names, just return to the count and start over.
*When you inhale focus on "1". When exhaling attend to "2", and so on up to "4".
*When counting subvocally, say one-n-n-n-n with the respiration. Two-o-o-o-o. Three-ee-ee-ee-ee etc.
*Avoid forcing the breath in any way.
*Let go of counting on one level and daydreaming on another.
STEP 2: When your attention and focus become so clear that your count is not lost, then the next step is to count the entire inhalation and exhalation as one unit. Example: In breath, then out breath one-n-n-n-n. In breath, then out breath two-o-o-o-0. Three-ee-ee-ee-ee. etc. Count only the out breath. NOTE: In Zen/Mindfulness breathing only the abdomen is moving. Breathe comfortably--do not force it.
Back to top CHAPTER 4.1: BREATH COUNTING
After you've mastered breath counting, you can follow the breath. Here you follow each inhalation and exhalation with attention. At the start of exhaling, breathe naturally and then squeeze the respiratory muscles so as to nearly halt your breathing. The air remaining in your lungs can escape slowly. The longer the comfortable exhalation the better. Soon this breathing is second nature to you. Your breathing will do the breathing.
Allow your attention to follow your breathing by being aware of your abdomen rising and falling or by paying attention to your breath going in and out of your nostrils. Either focus point is okay. Choose one and stick with it. When attending to the nostrils, focus on the area around the tip of the nose or the upper lip.
Each respiration is the essence of the present. Each breath is fully felt. Indentify with the breath like a starved wolf becoming one with its food. Unaware of its eating, the wolf just eats.
TIPS ON FOLLOWING THE BREATH
*Let go of visualizing the breath because visualization and imagination are limiting concepts. When we visualize or imagine something we add something to our experience.
*Just sit and feel yourself breathing. Your effort is directed at nothing. If you are focused on your breathing, you will forget yourself.
*Breath is allowed to follow its natural rhythm, but as your practice develops, it automatically deepens and slows, growing more even.
*When breathing--often no I, no world, no body, no time.
*Sitting and breathing is just sitting and breathing. Nothing added--nothing removed. Intention becomes full attention.
*Keep your attention fixed on your breathing. If your attention drifts, return it to your breathing. Attend to each breath for its full duration. The entire in breath and the entire out breath.
*Sit with the strength of a large mountain.
TIPS ON GENERAL SITTING PRACTICE
*Limit sitting to 30-35 minutes at a time. This rule better be adhered to at the start. Later you may experience day long sitting, but these are special occaisions. Long sitting can be taxing. During long sesions always get up and walk around being mindful for several minutes.
*Zen/mindfulness is letting go of thinking good or bad. Zen/mindfulness is neither conscious endeavor or introspection.
*The instant you hold a fixed view of the way things should be--you return to thinking.
*Be aware of clarity, yet let go of being attached to it. Clarity grows with practice.
*Sitting is just sitting and being aware without striving.
*Set a specified time for sitting and then follow through on it. Sit even when you do not feel like it.
*Patience and no drowsing are virtues in practice.
*Become the movements of your respiratory muscles.
*Consciousness by nature is always thinking of something. Left alone it begins to daydream. v *Discovering nonconceptual experience takes as long as it takes. We are indivisuals with differing capacities. Zen/mindfulness requires daily practice. There are surely faster routes to nonconceptual experience. Crack open a word/phrase, pop a feeling into full essence. There are hyper speed tracks to nonconceptual experience. However patience, a strong attention span, the ability to sit through makyo build the interior of a practitioner and are rewards possibly ranking with the treasure of nonconceptual experience. A wiseman with no patience or compassion is like a __________________.
*Alert, clear, single-minded, and effortless sitting can only be achieved with much practice.
*Self-conscious effort can cause tension in different areas of the body and may result in aches and pains.
*Before you sit, notice how your practice will bring clear and valid experience. Also know you can never capture the experience intellectually
. *If we practice daily with our minds free of discriminatory thoughts, we will find it easier to become absorbed in our daily tasks. If we perform our acts with full attention and clear awareness, it will be easier to know emptiness during sitting.
*Let the body hang from the spine by its own weight. The experience of letting go will carry to the breath and to the attention.
*When the thinking and imaging content of our minds come to rest, the wandering mind disappears.
*Avoid getting up too quickly from sitting. Rock gently from side to side. Rise slowly and walk around.
*By allowing your attention to rest in the pit of your belly between the navel and the pelvis, our random flow of thoughts and images slows. Our attention is unwavering when anchored here.
*A still body often isn't felt. It's image vanishes away. Just breathing. And someday no label for that.
*Sitting is not a ritual. Sitting is simply a process of attending to your breath while in good posture.
*Absorb yourself in your practice whether sitting or walking. Practice is being fully in the present. Before long any notion of present drops away.
*In Zen/mindfulness there is no goal or journey. You are aware and attending to what is happening now. At some point even a sense of now evaporates.
*Unconscious images often arrise during practice. Observe them and let them be. You are allowing them to be there with no intention of getting rid of them or keeping them. Our nature will take care of everything.
*Don't cling to the present or the now. They will be here on their own and even they fall away.
*When your attention is fully cultivated, it flows without effort like a well-trained piano player. He/she plays--he/she is absorbed.
*If we experience a strong pain in our bodies, our practice becomes stronger. Our attention stays easily on pain without drifting.
*An untrained minds clings to the pleasant and condemns the unpleasant. Bare attention brings our mind to a state of rest. Bare attention, when developed through practice, becomes habituated and effortless.
*Eventually the momemtum of practice becomes so strong that practice becomes habituated. When our practice comes out of ease and simplicity, this ease and simplicity comes out of effortless awarenes.
*Observe sensations (hot, cold, heavy, painful, light, etc) and their associated feelings as they arise. Observe them without clinging to them, identifying with them, or pushing them away.
*Allow your attention to relax when observing painful feelings. Tension shows aversion. Relax when pained and view the flow as it appears and vanishes, appears and vanishes from moment to moment.
*Understanding means little in practice. Doing is the key. Directly demonstrate what being fully in the moment is instead of just believing it. The moment you recognize the present you are out of it.
*Be wisely sceptical by keeping openminded with a touch of doubt.
*Commit yourself to your sitting.
*Let go of believing in higher or lower, better, and perfect. Let go of opinions and preconceptions if you want to know what nonconceptual or nondual experience is.
*Nothing forced--nothing sought.
*Eventually our notions of technique dies and we are just breathing.
*Overseriousness is a block. The Buddha laughed and joked. Bodhidharma was a prankster.
*Let go of attempting to control or to achieve peacefulness or serenity. That's not what Zen/mindfulness is about.
*If we practice at home we will face neighborhood sounds. We can't stop the noise, yet we can accept sounds. Noise contains quiet.
*Eating and drinking too much before sitting can make you groggy and award you with gurgles.
*Avoid sitting with an absent mind.
*Tension in your body? Awareness dissolved tension.
*Nonconceptual experience is not something to figure out. It can't be grasped.
*If you want to practice, let go of all your previous ideas and just practice. Go with what happens in practice.
* What is more important? To be rewarded or to enjoy your life in the effort to bring success or to find meaning in your efforts.
*Let your mind alone and it will be come clear.
*When sleepy, have sleepy practice. Often sleepiness is related to strong practice. The cortex is quieter than usual. Illusions may appear at this time. Nonconceptual experience can sometimes appear when we wake up or fall asleep. Allow sleepiness to happen--sit with it. Each time you start to nod off, accept it, and calmly bring yourself back.
*Washing your face or taking a drink of water between sitting periods can alter the intensity of your feelings, pain, or sleepiness.
*Let go of seeking the "good" of quiet or avoiding the "bad" of noise.
*Accept pain in sitting. Live with it. (Don't force injuries) Let go of excessively avoiding pain.
*If you are preoccupied with difficulties in practice and really overwhelmed by them at the time. Jot them down in a notebook and agree to pick them up after practice. Problems are best resolved outside of practice. However, some emotionally based challenges can be objects for practice as you get firmer in experience. Just observing feelings can have a profound effect on integrating them. We pay attention to them with no intention of getting rid of them or keeping them.
*Stuck feelings may be delt with by using the Accept This, Love That meditation on the Process Page. Also Active Feeling may be integrated into Zen/ Mindfulness practice.
*Processing or integrating disturbing and stuck emotions and physical sensations with Emoclear processes can be very helpful with moving Zen/Mindfulness practice along.
*When our initial enthusiasm for practice dies down we become more aware of distractions and how difficult sitting is. This is when committment pays dividends.
*Sitting and nonconceptual experience are the same. You sit and breathe. Tall order for an adding and subtracting mind.
*Let go of gaining anything or thinking you'll get something. We sit and express our nature.
*Practice is not excitement, but attending to our usual routine.
*Let go of goals "in" practice. Just sit and breathe.
*Practice whether joyful, tired, or cranky. Joy in practice is neither good or bad. Let go of clinging to joy.
*Stopping your mind does not mean stopping your mental activity. It means your mind follows your breathing and attends to your activity.
*Bodhidharma once said: "When you sit, you sit. When you eat, you eat. That is all."
*People just starting out better practice with effort. The effort here is to sit at a specified time no matter what. The effort is to return your attention again and again to your breathing, breath counting, or activity.
* Good practice is doing your practice with your entire mind and body, without gaining ideas.
*Calmnes of mind is never aimed for. Calmness of mind does not mean you should halt your activity. Real calmness better be found in the activity itself, in the absorbtion.
*Progress comes in small steps.
*Nonconceptual experience maybe something special before you do it. The experience is nothing special after you do it. Well maybe for 10 minutes of wowing.
*When you sit in right posture, the mental waves grow smaller and smaller. Keep your mind on your breathing. Mind breathes. Then one day no mind and no breath.
*In practice watch with an accepting eye. This acceptance is always in the background. In practice we accept things as they happen, whether pleasurable or unpleasurable, whether hateful or likeable.
*Practice is never training to be a superior person or to be a sage. That all falls by the wayside.
*People who struggle hard with their practice find a powerful meaning in it.
*Correct posture is a correct state of mind. There isn't a need to obtain some special state of mind. When you don't seek anything, your body and mind are right there.
*When we practice, all that exists is the breath's movement.
*Timers and gentle alarm clocks will advise you when the session is over. After a few days or weeks you will intuitively know the time to stop within seconds.
*In everyday experience you are absorbed. No you and no thing you do. There is not even one. The present is burned out.
*Confidence in practice only comes from patience and practice.
*Accept that our minds often behave restlessly. Let go of blaming yourself or your mind if you make errors. Accept yourself, your thoughts, and your images whether negative or positive. If you reject yourself--you reject the agent of nonconceptual experience. Focus on the error and correct it instead of downing yourself with a label and a law only you might hold.
*Practice is not a course in self-improvement. We don't remold a self. Self is forgotten in the act of doing. There is no conscious striving to get rid of the self.
*Forgetting the self is just doing the task with no self-consciousness sticking to the action.
*At first practice is strained and mechanical, but with time practice becomes natural and unconscious. You do it without thinking like driving on the highway.
*Thinking about something other than the matter at hand separates us from experience.
*Doing Zen/mindfulness with a group and a teacher can be highly motivating. Find a sitting group in your area. Good sources of information: neighborhood newspapers, the internet, universities, churches, university religion departments, stress management clinics, bookstore bulletin boards. Look under Zen, mindfulness, Vipassana, and Mahamudra. You might want to start a Zen/Mindfulnes group with friends.
*Don't wait for the right mood or inspiration to practice. The right mood or inspiration comes from doing, from being in the flow, from being absorbed in the present. Set a specific time to practice and follow through no matter how you "feel" (unless you're really ill). We can always get up and do important things no matter how we feel at first.
*Counting breaths at the start of a session helps with getting a good focus right off.
*At first you will become conscious of each step of the practice. Later, you become the practice itself. Practice does the practice.
*Mistakes will happen. We are fallible and our thought processes will supply us with plenty of thought streams.
*Practice involves checking illusions and mistakes and returning your attention to the practice, checking illusions and mistakes and returning your attention to the practice.
*Practice is neither avoiding or clinging. Practice is just paying full attention and leaving ourselves open to what is happening. No preferences. No attachment. No condemning. No holding back.
*Practice awareness is a choiceless awareness which looks upon all things equally, without preference. This is the wellspring of acceptance.
*Allow the background awareness of sound to simply be there.
*In observing breathm thoughts, images, and feelings, we experience these objects as part of a passing movie. We may identify with the observer. When we let go of identifying with the observer our practice grows stronger. Self-lessness develops.
*In practice we observe the momentary nature of phenomena. It comes in waves. We see the spaces in between. It all comes from the void and returns to the void. What watches is void. What is watched is void. The consciousness that supports it is void. The word void is void. Form is formlessness. Formlessness is form. Know this directly. At first our moments of clarity are far apart. Gradually they come together and we are more there.
*Healthy eating habits, sleep, and exercise are vital to practice. We require energy and strength. Our focus is best when we are properly nourished.
THOUGHTS & IMAGERY IN PRACTICE
*Thoughts come in 3 basic varieties: neutral, negative, and positive. Neutral thought: "I wonder what movie I'll attend?" or "What's for lunch?" Negative thought:"I'll never get this right." or "I'm a flop." "These thoughts raise negative emotions." These thoughts raise negative emotions. Positive thought: "I'm doing well." or "What a wonderful day." These thoughts bring positive feelings.
*Random ideas in practice are relatively innocuous, but idealogies, beliefs, opinions, and viewpoints as well as facts (to which we're attached) obscure raw experience.
* You will experience various thoughts and images from time to time. If you experience thoughts, feelings, or images as good--let go of clinging to them. Likewise if you experience thoughts, feelings, and images as bad--let go of checking or eliminating them. Perceptions and sensations are not roadblocks to practice. Neither stop them or hold onto them. In holding on I mean: (1) Our attention focuses on sound. (2) Our vision remains on objects. (3) Our mind adheres to an idea.
*Letting go of thoughts is letting thoughts wear out. We acknowledge thoughts, then gently return our attention to our breathing or our activity. Over and over our attention gently returns. Eventually we grow disinterested in our thoughts. They lose force and meaning. Our attachment to them falls away.
*Let random thoughts and feelings come and go. Let go of forcing them away and let go of lingering on them. Return your attention to your breathing.
*Fleeting thoughts, which naturally occur, are not a problem. We do not halt our consciousness. No matter how intently we become our breaths, we still perceive.
*We pay more attention to the thoughts that have the most meaning to us. We are attached to these thoughts until we let go and swing our attention back to our breath.
*Thinking paints our reality, shapes it, magnifies it or minimizes it, plans it, measures it, qualifies it, takes from it and adds to it etc.
Thinking holds us from directly experiencing. *Let thoughts and images arise and vanish on their own. Our consciousness remains observing and relaxed in the coming and going flow.
*Here is another two types of thoughts: (1)Fleeting thoughts which quickly come and go. You may note a sound or a brief thought. "This feels good" or "My mind is clear." (2) Dreamy thoughts: long thoughts and images. They often come from moderate exhalations. To overcome dreamy thoughts: let them go, slow your breathing, and return your attention to your breath.
*Let go of judging and evaluating thoughts because it gives them strength. When thoughts come--simply observe them. No rejection--no clinging. Experience will show you that thoughts come and go, come and go. You directly experience thoughts and sensations impermanence.
*Let go of trains of associations. Let go of analyzing thoughts. Let go of questioning why and about where thoughts come from. Be aware that thinking is happening. Let go of taking the thought to be "I" or the self.
*Is thought the thinker?
*When you are detached from your thought processes, thoughts don't last long.
*We can use concepts and the intellect without being slaves to them. When is it most appropriate to think?
*Watch out for thinking: "This is nonconceptual experience." or "That is nonconceptual experience." Thinking this way is conceptualizing experience.
*Thoughts can enslave us or provide freedom or fall somewhere inbetween.
*Pleasure or pain--what differentiates them?
*A goal of seeking detachment is attachment. Breathing is sufficient.
*Let go of thinking past or future or present. Just sit.
*Accept each thought by labeling it "thinking", then come back to your breathing. Give thoughts no value and let go of calling them good or bad.
*Let go of blocking thoughts and images. Let go of forcing thoughts and images away. Let them go by. Forcing and blocking will create more thoughts. Allow. Permit.
*Fleeting thoughts result from a lack of alertness in practice. These background thoughts are like background noise. Gradually fleeting thoughts die out on their own. Consciousness soon calms on its own.
*Accept that you have thoughts and feelings during practice. Let go of putting yourself down for having them.
*We make waves in our consciousness--nothing comes from the outside. And at a certain level is there really an inside or an outside?
*There is experience and there are concepts. We often confuse ideas with direct experience.
EMOTIONS AND SENSATIONS IN PRACTICE
*If you have repetitive worries--write them down. After practice you can take action on experiencing the underlying feelings that are firing up your worries .
*If fear comes up--observe it, yet don't identify with it. Fear can also be fully felt and cleared with a clearing process.
*Positive feelings, in practice, lead to clinging. Negative feelings lead to aversion. When we become mindful of feelings we can observe them with detachment.
*Emotions often emerge in practice. Allow them to come and go. They spring from our thoughts and imaginings.
*Noticing and acknowledging our emotions is progress toward becoming responsibile for them. Anger, anxiety, calm, depression, happiness, and joy all come from our evaluations about events, others, ourselves, and things.
*If anxious or restless, count breaths and breathe deeply from your belly for a few minutes before you return your attention to your practice. Later you can full experience these feelings so you can integrate them.
*Worry agitates the mind and makes attention difficult. Worry asks: what if? In asking "what if", worry focuses on a negative outcome. The small self gains a negative label. If worry appears, ask yourself what is the worst that can happen and can you cope with it? Sit with worry and gently bring your attention back to your breath or activity. Later you can give its underlying anxiety your full attention. If it continues to intrude then by all means make its fueling anxiety the focus of your zen/ mindfulness.
*Be aware of "I can't stand-itis." You can stand feelings and difficult practice. Ask yourself if you could stand it for a billion dollars, nonconceptual experience, "true love", or some other highly valued reward. If you can stand this situation for a any of these highly valued awards, then we can assume you can stand it period. Standing the difficult builds frustration tolerance.
*Anger is agitating in practice. It comes from believing others or thye world should do something or should not do something. Better to prefer or want, rather than to demand. We forget in anger the other person or the world is multi-faceted and has many positive, neutral, and negative qualities. If angry in practice, jot down what you find anger provoking, then return your attention to your breath or activity. The anger can be handled after practice.
*Guilt is breaking an ironclad should or must law. Further, we down ourselves with a negative label. Better we return our shoulds and musts into preferences and wants and note we are fallible, yet multi-faceted persons with many positive, neutral, and negative qualities.
BLOCKS TO PRACTICE
*Let go of demanding anything dramatic happening.
*Each distraction can be labeled distraction before you return your attention to your breathing.
*Let go of seeking nonconceptual experience. Just sit and breathe.
*Be aware of any infatuation you have with zen/mindfulness. This period of infatuation is usually short-lived. Soon we realize practice takes setting time aside and doing.
*When feelings of achievment subside along with your thoughts of nonconceptual experience, then you will resume "just sitting".
*Over focusing on pain and discomfort can be a ploy our mind uses to protect old habits. If you experience tension and anxiety, your pain and discomfort might increase. You can stand it. Fuse with the pain and it will gradually transform.
*Let go of being attached to sitting practice. Work with earing, walking etc.
*Boredom may be produced by expecting excitement or that something "big" should happen. Boredom is a belief we've added to our experience. It's best to sit through boredom. You learn directly that you can stay with it. Boredom in sitting is neither good or bad. You don't have to do anything or expect anything. You breathe and you are there.
*Some of the most common blocks to practice are: (1) Clinging to sensations and feelings. (2) Anger. (3) Low tolerance for pain and frustration. (4) Restlessness. (5) Lack of belief in the process and outcome. (6) Low tolerance for unnaturalness. (7) Fear of experiencing unconscious images and thoughts. (8) Fear of change and having new challenges. (9) Demand for instant success. (10) Fear of losing emotions. (11) Fear of losing control. (12) Fear of remaining in some state forever. (13)Demand our sitting goes perfectly. (14)Fear of failure. (15)Concern over our changing relationships with others. (16) Having too many thoings to do. (17) Waiting for inspiration or the right mood to sit. (18)Forgetting to sit. (19) Being too upset to sit.
*When drowsy or tired, pay attention to the sleepiness, yet don't identify with it. You may want to alter your posture. If you're really tired you might want to get up and take a brisk walk.
*When restless you can make restlessness the object of your awareness. Sit and observe restlessness. Restlessness comes and goes. You can return your awareneness to your breath. Sitting very still in a straight posture also can overcome restlessness.
*If you have doubt--pay attention to it. Acknowledge it without indentifying with it.
*Let go of striving after calm, love, serentity, power, or wholness in your sitting. Striving after anything brings waves of thought.
*Inner calm is anatural byproduct of nonstriving consciousness.
*An object to be abandoned is no different than its antidote. Watch out for desire and aversion, subject and object.
*Illusions come when our focus is developed to a certain point. Dreamlike in content. Illusions are not from nonconceptual experience. Whether positive or negative, let illusions go by and return to your breathing.
*When caught up in a fantasy, it can completely occupy you. When it weakens, you will notice your mind has strayed before you return your attention to your breath. In fantasies we plan and tell stories. Daydreaming and planning have a place in life, but they are not for practice.
*Questioning your ability to practice is often a way our minds balk at change. Watch out for too much questioning and doubting. Worry and concern during practice produces plenty of thought. Return to your breath. Just sit and breathe.
*Obstacles and frustrations can help you learn correct practice.
*Refrain from using intoxicants because they create tiredness and a drifting focus.
*Watch out for "it doesn't feel right for me" because most most new experiences will not feel right at first.
*Avoid any competition in practice. You will be focused on the future and leave the present.
* You will hear traffic, insects, running water, or a ticking clock. Sudden sounds like breaks squeeling, motorcycles, and roaring jets can be distracting. Stay away from human voices (in person or on tv or radio). Later when you have developed your practice, noise will not disturb you.
*We have a lifetime of mental conditioning to overcome and our natural discomfort with some changes. Let go of putting yourself down. Work on developing your practice. Focus on mistakes and how they can be corrected. Let go of focusing on yourself for human errors.
*Breath counting and attending to breath better be done fully and with commitment.
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Another attention builder is "The No Meditation Meditation":
"The No Meditation Meditation" is has it roots in Ch'an Buddhism a forerunner of Zen Buddhism and other outstanding slacker paths. In order to perform or better yet not perform this style of meditation, the No Meditation Meditator basically sits and effortlessly watches the contents of his/her mind unfold. Thoughts and feelings will come and go within a field of open, relaxed, and non-interfering awareness. There is no effort, no focusing of attention, no breath watching, and no attempt to interfere with whatever comes up on the screen of awareness. The basic intention here is the No Intention Intention. You watch your mind unfold and you allow whatever shows up to be there. You do not try to get rid of it or keep it. You just watch. Complete non-doing. The mind stuff does all the work until it wears down on its own. The process of No Meditation Meditation can be quite relaxing and de-stressing. Eventually the mind blinks out and you experience non-duality. You just watch with relaxed and open attention. Allowing whatever is there to be there. Eventually, through no efforts of your own, you dis-identify with the mental contents and the classic blink out occurs. You do not resist or grasp even the blink out.
*No focus.
*No attempt to think or not to think.
*Nothing to do.
***Warning: Folks with a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic are urged not to use this meditation without a counselor or seasoned meditation teacher. If you decide to use this meditation you will agree to to dissolve the webmaster, his server, Steve Mensing, and Emoclear.com for the application or misapplication of this meditation. Within any mental or emotional process is the possibility that someone could experience emotional discomfort. So proceed with this warning.***
(c) Steve Mensing
THE NO MEDITATION MEDITATION
(1) NO INTENTION INTENTION: Install or practice the No Intention Intention: Fully experience whatever shows up in your mind. Allow it to be there without trying to get rid of it or keep it. Just watch what shows up with open and relaxed attention. Let it be there. Let it do what it will without attempting to control it. Just watch it.
(2) HOW LONG WILL YOU SIT: Decide on either 20 minutes or 30 minutes twice a day. You may consider a shorter program until you gain more comfort with your No meditation meditation.
(3) CHOOSE A QUIET PLACE. Choose a quiet room for sitting where you will not be disturbed.
(4) STRAIGHT-BACKED CHAIR: Use a straight back chair with a flat and lightly padded seat. Plant your feet comfortably on the floor. To increase your comfort sit on a thin pad. If you are troubled by back problems, place a pillow between your back and the chair's rest.
(5) FOOT POSITION: Place your feet flat on the floor. Feet better be placed the width of your shoulders. Move your feet either slightly forward or backward until you find the most comfortable and stable position.
(6) STRAIGHT SPINE: Straighten your spine before you align your head. Stretch your back comfortably, then relax. Allow your center of balance to be in your lower abdomen. Abdomen and shoulders are relaxed. Let go of slouching. An upright and straight spine promotes alertness. Keep your shoulders back and your chest open.
(7) HEAD UPRIGHT: Allow your head to remain comfortably upright. Center your nose over your navel. Slightly tuck in your chin.
(8) ALLOW YOUR EYES TO COMFORTABLY CLOSE: Comfortably close your eyes.
(9) CLOSE MOUTH: Comfortably close your mouth. Keep the tip of your tongue behind your upper front teeth. Swallow any saliva and let go of any air in your mouth to create a partial vacuum.
(10) RUB HANDS BRISKLY TOGETHER FOR 30 SECONDS & THEN REST THEM COMFORTABLY ON YOUR LAP: Place your right hand, palm up and fingers together, on your lap by your abdomen. Allow your left hand to rest on your right, with only your fingers overlapping. Bring the tips of your thumbs together and let them lightly touch so an oval forms.
(11) CENTER YOUR SPINE: Sway from side to side in decreasing arcs until your spine is centered.
(12) TAKE A DEEP BREATH: Take a deep breath and exhale slowly and fully. Take a second deep breath before you allow your breathing to settle into its natural rhythm. There is no need to manipulate the breath.
(13) BRING YOUR RELAXED AND OPEN ATTENTION INWARD AND WATCH WHATEVER COMES AND GOES IN YOUR MIND: You will watch the contents of your mind with open and relaxed attention. Thoughts will come and go within this field of open and relaxed awareness. There is no attempt to get rid of these thoughts or grasp them. You just watch them with the No Intention Intention (which can be installed with the Intention Exercise on the Process page). Through watching with relaxed and open attention, you will begin to dis-identify with the thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories that reside there. You make no attempt to do anything other than watch. If you get caught up or identified with what you are watching you will eventually recall that you're watching and spontaneously return to that. With more and more watching the identifcations become harder to forge. You dis-identify more and more.
Recall there is no focus, no effort, and no struggling with anything. There's nothing to do save for watching. The watching is relaxed and open. You are allowing everything that shows up in your awareness to be there and not trying to get rid of it or keep it. Whatever is there is okay to be there. It will wind down on its own and loose energy. You just watch and do nothing.
TIPS ON NO MEDITATION MEDITATION
*Clear or integrate any stuck emotions that occured during the No Meditation Meditation. Do this after the practice. This stuck emotions & thoughts that come and go during the meditation will wear out on their own. You can move the process along by clearing or integrating them.
*For a sharper and more alert mind you can briskly rub your palms and fingers together for about 40 seconds then bring your hand together so you all your finger tips touch. Holding the finger tips and palms together, insert both thumbs in the notch below your nose and have the next two fingers touch your " third eye" area. Maintain this position for 30 seconds. Then proceed to your No Meditation Mediation.
*Prior to the No Meditation Meditation you can label the mind and its contents "That Mind". Do no labeling at all during the meditation. Just watch the mind and its contents with relaxed and open attention. Let the meditation do the meditation. You are practicing "non-doing" which is no practice at all. Just relaxed and open watching.
*Keep your back and neck comfortably straight, This will make the non-practice easier.
*"Mind Surfing in the Now" has tips on posture that apply to "No Meditation Mediation" sitting.
*Neither good or bad, just relaxed watching. No goal. Like a hobo sitting by a stream watching it flow past. No attempt to interfere. Thoughts, images, sensations, memories, all mental contents flow past. If you fall in the stream--no big deal. Climb out. You have all day to dry off. Your unconscious will spontaniously remind you that you are watching. That's all you require.
*Concern yourself with nothing. Clarity comes and goes. Just watching. No striving. No trying to get rid of. No trying to grasp. Just watching.
*You will forget--that's okay. Watch when you are reminded that you are just watching and allowing whatever comes up to be there with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it.
*Setting specified times to do the idle watching of "The No Meditation Meditation."
*Trust the what comes also goes. There is nothing to do. Inaction. No effort. No interference.
*The mind flows without effort. Sooner or later it turns off even if no one pulls the switch. It winds down. The spaces between thoughts grow longer. The thoughts, feelings, images, and so forth show their insubstantiality.
*Bare attention. No efforting. Just watching, yet no push to watch.
*No understanding--no thinking--no insight--just relaxed and open watching.
*Hydrate yourself before No Meditation Meditation. This makes relaxed and open watching easier.
*Accept that our minds often behave restlessly. Let go of blaming yourself or your mind if you get caught up in the contents. That's to be expected. No big deal. Just return to your watching as soon as you are reminded.
*The No Intention Intention leads to choiceless awareness. Choiceless awareness does not cling to or push away. No object is preferred to any other. Nothing is subtracted--nothing added.
*No grasping non-conceptual experience when it abruptly appears. Grasping will turn the mind back on. Just watch with relaxed and open attention.
*Your sense of self may blink out. No big deal. Just watch with relaxed and open attention.
*The mental contents wear out. They lose holding energy. No need to name them or recognize them. No cataloging. Just watching and allowing what ever is there to be there. No attempt is made to get rid contents or keep contents.
*Be alert for seeking non-conceptual experience or exalted states. Just let whatever comes your way to come your way. There is nothing special about the non -conceptual once it's experienced for any length of time.
Have fun, Steve
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Another mindfulness meditation valuable for building attention is Mindfulness Active Practice which attends to walking and eating. This builds up attention muscle.
ZEN/MINDFULNESS ACTIVE PRACTICE
By Steve Mensing
ACTIVE PRACTICE
The next step in Zen/Mindfulness practice is to become mindful during activity. Typical zen/mindfulness activities are eating, doing tasks, and walking. In mindfulness activities you devote your full attention to your activity. Your experience will be more intense because you are fully involved with it.
You can train your attention to fix on your tasks. If gardening, then simply garden, bringing your bare attention back to the present task whenever your attention strays. If you require plans for what you're doing, then plan briefly and let go of ruminating about what better be done. If you don't require planning, then just focus on the breath. Fully experience your breathing and physical movements. After a bit you will become what you are doing. Breathing and movement can be the focus that keeps your attention still as you attend to your garden. Let go of judging. Just do and you will find this enough.
TIPS ON ACTIVE PRACTICE
*Instead of washing dishes with the attitude that your life is on hold until the "boring" task is over, you can wash the dishes with full awareness, experiencing the sensations of movement and touch. In this kind of awareness, judgments do not exist about pleasant or unpleasant. You wash dishes fully-- nothing added, nothing subtracted.
*Let go of doing a task just to get it over with. Be one with your work--be absorbed in it. Keep bringing your full attention back to the task. Say "task" and bring your attention back to whatever you're doing.
*ZEN/MINDFULNESS WALKING: (1) Feel the sensations in your feet as they touch the ground. (2) Be aware of the movement in your foot. (3) Use a slow pace when first starting mindfulness walking. (4) At first label your walking: (a) Starting to lift. (b) Starting to move forward. (c) Starting to place my foot. (d) Starting to shift to the other foot.
When you've developed a clear and focused awareness of the entire routine--you can drop the labeling.
In walking practice, walk with a moderate step, stright back, and your attention some 2 yards in front of your feet. Steps better be 6 inches or so. Pay attention to the lifting, forward swinging, and foot's placement in each step. As you progress in your active practice you can speed up your steps. To focus on rapid walking, you can set up a cadence.
Walking may be done as its own practice or after a sitting session.
*MINDFULNESS EATING: (1) Bring your attention to your breath when you are collected. (2) Eat slowly--attend to each movement, sensation, and taste as they appear. Let go of the tendency to automatically go for the next bite before you've finished. Absorb yourself in eating. Be aware of each movement, sensation, and taste.
To narrow your attention on eating, you may view eating as a sequence of events. Seeing, intending, moving, opening mouth, taking in food, closing mouth, lowering arm, moving, food texture, chewing movement, taste, leaving, swallowing.
Have fun, Steve
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An exercise for ADD people who have Low Frustration Tolerance about standing and staying with something obnoxious until completion. This builds awareness and staying muscle.
I STOOD IT EXERCISE
***Warning: Do not do this exercise if you have a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you can only do it if you agree to absolve the webmasters, Emoclear.com, the servers, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. With any emotional process there is always the possibility of experiencing discomfort so proceed with this warning.***
Low Frustration Tolerance can be handled a number of ways:
* Feel the LFT fully and get up and do what you better do no matter how you feel at first. This alters the feeling state fairly quickly. Low Frustration tolerance depends on the belief that we can't stand something or it's too much. The belief gets disproved when we clearly demonstrate to ourselves that we can stand something, that it's not too much. LFT is a trance that can't survive in activity. The more you get up and do what you supposedly can't stand, the more LFT loses its power. Action blows it out. Inaction keeps it alive.
*LFT can also be a target for clearing. However accept that you have it and it serves a useful function on some level. LFT is often present with compulsions, addictions, panic, and pain syndromes.
* Besides direct action, knowing that you can stand anything can help. You might ask yourself can I stand your LFT plagued activity for: (1) A huge cash reward? (2) A valuable chunk of your life is returned to you? (3) Or any other valuable reward you can see. (your life is spared) If you can stand it for any of these rewards then you can assume you can stand it or it's not too much.
Here is the "I stood it exercise":
I STOOD IT EXERCISE
Find an important situation you deem "too much" or "can't be stood" and simply carry that activity through to its conclusion. With this exercise you will prove to yourself that you "stood it". Feel your I can't stand it feelings fully and then swing all your attention over to your chosen activity. Here are the steps:
(1) Name the activity you believed "too much" or "couldn't stand": _____________________.
(2)Set a specific length of time for standing it (some may want to stand the activity from start to finish). The length of time is: ____________________.
(3) Recognize your long-term rewards for "standing it". My long-term rewards for staying in there will be: _______________________. (Better quality of life- -more self control--etc).
(4) Recognize that you can stand it for a large sum of money, your life being spared, or whatever you highly value. If you recognize this, you know then that you can stand it.
(5) Do the activity named in step (1) from start to finish.
(6) Recognize that you stood it--that it wasn't too much. Know that you regained control over an area of your life. Notice the good feelings you obtained by doing this activity from start to finish.
Take care, Steve
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A mindfulness and behavioral repatterner for dealing with impulsive behavior.
THE HABIT CRACKER (Updated)
***Warning: This process is not to be used by anyone with a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic. These challenges are best handled with a therapist. You are only permitted to use this process if you agree to absolve Steve Mensing, the webmasters, Emoclear.com, and the web host of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. With any emotional process there is the possibility of discomfort.***
If you've ever done mindfulness on your emotionally driven habits you'll become aware of the pattern that keeps your habit in motion. Within an habitual pattern are sequences of emotionally driven impulse, intention, and behavior. If we closely attend to an emotionally driven pattern we will begin to note each segment clearly. In noticing these segments and acknowleging them in action we begin to notice areas for a possible intervention.
To unseat an emotionally driven habit you might want to experiment with the Habit Cracker Exercise which first brings our awareness to the habitual pattern and then focuses on the moment between intention and impulse to act.
THE HABIT CRACKER EXERCISE
(1) POLARITY BREATHWORK AND BRINGING AWARENESS TO ALL SEGMENTS OF A BEHAVIORAL PATTERN: Gently pinch your right nostril shut and breathe moderately (for 12 full inhalations & exhalations) through your left nostril only. When you are finished, immediately switch nostrils. Gently pinch your left nostril shut and breathe moderately (for 12 full inhalations & exhalations) through your right nostril only. Review your chosen behavior from start to finish. Notice the behavior's different parts or segments. When you are finished go immediately to step (2).
(2) Bring your full and relaxed attention to your chosen emotionally driven habit. Watch it clearly from start to finish. Do this several times prior to intervention. You may observe this behavior with no intention of getting rid of it or keeping it. Just give it your full and undivided attention.
(3) Become aware of your initial intention to act. What is your intention. Can you write it down once during your observation?
(4) Observe the moment between your intention to act and the actual impulse to act. Give your full attention to this split second prior to the impulse to act.
(5) Observe the impulse to act. This impulse flows mindlessly from an emotion (anger, anxiety, fear, sadness etc).
(6) Observe the impulse driven action. In bringing our attention to the intention, the moment between intention and the impulse to act, the impulse to act, and the action, we are observing the emotionally driven pattern. This conscious awareness on this automatic sequence can help to break the emotionally driven pattern. The break is best brought about at the start of a sequence pattern.
(7) When you have begun to note the split second moment between your initial intention and the impulse to act, then you can simply choose to do nothing or choose to do something else. We have a choice at this valuable point. We can choose not to act or we can choose to do something else.
Tips on the Habit Cracker Exercise:
*Practice bringing your awaressness to the 4 basic sequences of impulse driven behavior. Know them clearly.
*Do the observation with no intention of getting rid of or keeping the behavior. Your attention at the start is just to note what occurs.
*Pay attention to that split second interval between your intention and your arising impulse to act. Practice doing nothing or some other action in that instant before the impulse arises. You can physically go through this or visualize this sequence to allow it to feel more natural in time.
*Practicing this awareness and new responses will help pull us to an outside position so we will not be caught up in the emotionally driven sequence.
*We can also consciously label each of the segments to bring it under more conscious control and assure the "just back" position. Example: "Intention" " Moment before impulse" "Impulse to act" "Action"
*This approach can be added to our tool kit for handling impulse driven actions like: Acting angrily, panicking, eating impulsively.
*You might integrate the common segments in your observed habitual sequence. The intention can be altered. The emotion that the impulse arises out of can be targeted.
*Be aware of any emotional response that arises out of your short-circuited behavior. This would be grist for integrating.
Take care, Steve
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A exercise for taking the heat off of emotionally charged thoughts and improve attention.
THE THOUGHT CHILLER
The Thought Chiller is intended to help us look non-judgementally at our thoughts and allow them to be there so they fade in intensity and no longer have a steel clamp on our attention. The Thought Chiller can be helpful for worry, rumination, repetitive angry thoughts, and obsessional thinking. The Thought Chiller contains:
* A break state method.
* The No Intention Intention method of fully experiencing thoughts and allowing thoughts to be there without trying to get rid of them or keep them.
*A hemispheric brain shift.
*A choice of writing out your thoughts so you can be detached from them and view them with a neutral eye. Or watching your hot thoughts nonjudgementally come and go on your screen of awareness.
(c) Steve Mensing
***WARNING: Folks with a history of mental illness, trauma, or panic are urged not to use this process without a therapist. If you decide to do this process you will agree to absolve the webmasters, their server, Emoclear.com, and Steve Mensing of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. In any emotional process the possibility exists that someone could experience some discomfort. So proceed with this warning.***
THE THOUGHT CHILLER
Steps to performing the Thought Chiller:
v (1) BREAK YOUR EMOTIONAL STATE. Break whatever emotional state you're in from worrying, ruminating, obsessing, or thinking angry thoughts by clapping your hands infront of you, sucking in your lips and cheeks for a 12 count before you shake out your arms, hands, and legs. (Go to step 2).
(2) LEFT HEMISPHERIC DOMINANCE SHIFT. For the count of 20 tighten all the muscles on the right side of your face while you turn your head to the far left and look to the far right. After the count of 20 is reached stop your facial and eye maneuver and "go to step 3".
(3) EITHER WRITE OUT YOUR HOT THOUGHTS OR LABEL THEM: "THOSE THOUGHTS" AND NONJUDGEMENTALLY WATCH THEM COME AND GO IN YOUR AWARENESS. Either:
(A) Write your thoughts out on paper and keep writing down the hot thoughts out until they lose their emotional intensity (You feel this in your body).
Or
(B) Whisper label your thoughts: "Those thoughts" and nonjudgementally watch the thoughts come and go in your awareness. Pay full attention to your thoughts and allow them to be there without trying to get rid of them or trying to keep them. If you become distracted, bring your attention back to "those thoughts" until they lose their emotional intensity and no longer grip your attention. Take time with this exercise and don't hurry or push. (Go to step 4).
(4) SEAL YOURSELF UP BY RECALLING 10 OR SO PLEASANT MEMORIES. When the thoughts have lost their emotional intensity and attraction, recall 10 or so pleasant memories. You might want to keep a list of pleasant memories like seeing friends, having an interesting discussion, recalling a great movie or love making etc.
TIPS ON THE THOUGHT CHILLER.
*Hydrate yourself prior to performing the Thought Chiller.
*It's helpful during step (3) to lightly lay your palm and fingers across your lower forehead and eyebrows. Your finger tips should point toward an ear. The karate chop side of your hand should rest on the bridge of your nose. This palming the lower forehead and eyebrows warms the blood flow into the frontal brain and can lead to cooler, less gripping thoughts while you write down your hot thoughts or neurtrally observe those hot thoughts with detachment.
*If you're observing your thoughts you may want to watch them come and go in a visualized relaxing cloud. You can "Chant Visualize" the cloud into existance .
*Relax your tongue after your mouth becomes filled with saliva. Your relaxed tongue should be submerged in saliva. Do this for several minutes. The tongue can be relaxed by tense and relax methods. This technique can help deintensify overwhelming thoughts when done between cycles of the Thought Chiller.
*Practice the Thought Chiller one step at a time until all the steps can be performed well and feel natural. Use the Thought Chiller on easier thought targets first until you've become comfortable with the Thought Chiller.
Have fun, Steve
*********************************
THE ACTION MANEUVER
***Warning: This process is not to be used by anyone with a history of mental illness, severe trauma, or panic. These challenges are best handled with a therapist. You are only permitted to use this process if you agree to absolve Steve Mensing, the webmasters, Emoclear.com and the web host of any responsibility for the application or misapplication of this process. With any emotional process there is the possibility of discomfort.***
The Action Maneuver is a simple 4 step method for getting things done no matter what we're feeling or how much magnetic gravity we're experiencing. Someone can always get up and do something. They decide to do something, choose to do it, and then do it. Sorry there's no acceptable excuses not to do something we chose to do. The "I didn't feel like it" excuse doesn't have any weight here. We can always move our hands and feet. If we can't we, should see a medical doctor immediately. Of course if we can make a doctor's appointment and follow through, we can take action can't we?
The Action Maneuver is based on the age old insight into the reality that human beings, no matter how intensely they are up against it, can CHOOSE to get up and do something. It's a fact that people can feel intensely overwhelmed and still do something. Even a person seized by panic can still flee a building. ( They can also choose to stay there). What stymies people is not feelings or being overwhelmed, but the CHOICE they make to remain inactive. They choose not to do something. Unless a person has major neurological problems, actual physical disabilities, or a severe psychosis, they can choose to do something and do it. They don't even have to see the meaning and the value in what they're doing (It's sure motivating) in order to do something. They do it.
No matter how much "I can't stand it-it is" or this is "too much" or "overwhelming" we experience, we can still choose to get our limbs moving and do something important.
Would we do our self-help assignments if a 300 lb maniac held a pistol to our heads and whispered: "Do it"? I'm pretty sure what choice we'd make.
Choice and action are powerful tools we all have at our disposal. Nothing fancy. Action is a very powerful change process. It gets important things done. It gives folks a sense of control. Absorbing action feels good. Extended absorbed activity produces endorphins and feels good after awhile. People have changed how they felt, their beliefs, and their behavior patterns by taking action. Small actions can start the ball rolling for large changes.
When we can take action at anytime (which we can) we're in the driver's seat.
© Steve Mensing
THE ACTION MANEUVER
(1) We sense something important better be done.
(2) We give this prompting due consideration. Had we better do this? A bit later or right away? What good and worthwhile payoffs would come about from us taking action? Clean dishes? A balanced bank account. Better health?
(3) Do we require any planning or should we take care of business now? If we don't require much planning, then we better choose to do it and do it right away.
(4) ADDED STEP FOR THOSE FROZEN TO ACT: [Feeling overwhelmed, up against it, magnetized to the old bedski? Press our tongues hard against the roofs of our mouths near our teeth, rub both palms briskly together for 10 seconds, then get up and do it. The only thing that can hold us back is a CHOICE not to do so. If we make the choice to do it, then do it. [Keep in mind the good things resulting from our actions] [If we hesitate, ask ourselves if we would get up and take action if a 300 lb maniac held a gun to our head and demanded that we took action. If we answer yes, then we can do it anyway.]
Have fun, Steve
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A mindfulness method is "Whisper Labeling". This form of labeling neutralizes and removed judgments from whatever it's pasted upon. It can be used on emotionally charged thoughts or emotions, feelings or sensations. It also helps in disidentfying or getting outside a thought or feeling.
WHISPER LABELING
1. Breathe into the emotion, feeling, or physical sensations. (Or thought). Aim your breath in the direction of the feeling or thought.
2. With your attention on your feeling or thoughts, whisper: "Those sensations" for emotions, feelings, sensations. (Or "Those thoughts" for any thoughts, memories, refeltions ect.) You may need to whisper "those sensations" or "those thoughts a few times before you begin to notice one of the following:
a) The emotion feels separate from you--like not you.
b) Your observing or sensing it in front of you.
c) you have a sense of being back from it. You are not part of the emotion or in it.
Practice "Whisper Labeling" until you can neutralize any emotion, feeling, sensation, or thought that comes into awareness and step back from it.
******************************** A method for checking out distorted thinking and to challenge and change it.
TIPS FOR FINDING DISTORTED THINKING (updated)
DISTORTED THINKING CHECK LIST
Language and its meaning is highly important in creating our emotional reactions and sensations. Cues that we are employing distorted and upsetting thoughts can be found in difficulty creating evaluations. Automatic & habitual, difficulty creating evaluations occur without reason or reflection. Here is a checklist of words and phrases we use in absolutistic and upsetting evaluations:
AWFULIZING: Here we make inconveniences or discomfort into disasters, catastrophes, something awful, horrible, or terrible. When awfulizing we magnify our problems and fail to notice the positive or the neutral in our experience. Awful, horrible, and terrible generally imply 100% negative experiences. Very few experiences are fully awful. Believing a situation is awful will make it feel that way. Most so-called awful experiences could be made much worse. If you awfulize you could see your experience as "inconvenient", a "hassle", or "uncomfortable". "Difficult" & "tough" also work better.
Typical awfulizing words: awful, horrible, terrible, disaster, holocaust, the worst, doom, total hell, catastrophe, the pits.
To test your situation to see if it is really awful--ask the following questions:
*Does feeling awful actually prove the situation is awful?
*Does your belief create your feelings of awfulness or horribleness?
*What is your exact prediction? Specifically what will happen?
*What if your thought were true? Why would it disturb you? Specifically what would happen?
*If you believed the event was inconvenient, would you feel differently?
*Is this event as horrible as I'm allowing myself to believe that it is?
*Would other people experience this situation different than you?
*Is there anything positive or neutral in your situation? A valuable learning experience?
*How long will your situation last? Can you cope with it?
*How is a disadvantage or inconvenience awful?
*Could this situation be made much worse?
*Is this circumstance difficult or unbearable, unpleasant or devastating, uncomfortable or intolerable?
*Is there evidence that would dispute this belief?
*If the worst occurs, can you consider other options or plans of action? Could you cope with it?
*How does your difficulty compare with: (1) Being roasted slowly? (2) Dieing gradually and agonizingly from a rare disease? (3) Seeing loved ones paraded into slavery? (4) Being tortured slowly by aliens from another galaxy?
*Is your situation truly awful or is it an inconvenience?
CAN'T STAND IT-ITIS: Here we use evaluations like: "I can't stand it." "It's too much." "I can't take it." "It's driving me out of my mind." "It's overwhelming me." "When will this ever stop?" With these phrases we make uncomfortable and frustrating circumstances into unbearable ones. "Can't stand it- itis" resides at the core of impatience and frustration intolerance. If you're doing something that better be done and you feel extremely frustrated, you might think: "I can stand it." "It's not too much." "I can take it." "I can hang in there." "I've stood it before." "Much of life is challenging--I can put up with it."
Typical can't stand it-itis phrases are: "I can't stand it." "I can't take it. " "This's driving me crazy." "I'm being overwhelmed." "When will this ever end?" "This's killing me." "I'm going out of control." "Life should be easy."
See if you can really stand your situation by answering these questions:
*Could you stand it? Have you stood it before?
*Have you coped with a similar situation?
*Could you stand it for 2 million dollars or some other valued reward?
*If your brain is healthy--can you really go crazy or would you just get upset?
*Have you ever lived without it?
*What would be the easiest part of this situation to bare?
The second easiest part to bare?
*Have I ever coped with similar situations?
*Where's the evidence that it's too much?
*Can you stand it for a minute at a time?
*If a miracle happened and you could stand and cope with this situation, what would you notice about this situation? How would you feel about this situation?
SHOULDING: Here we elevate desires and preferences into arbitrary and ironclad laws such as shoulds, musts, oughts, got to's, and deserves. Shoulding offers us little choice, creates pressures, and leads to anger, guilt, and shame. With shoulds we create new rules and play Jehovah with ourselves and others. If we are shoulding, we better use: "want", "prefer", "desire", "would strongly like", or "better do".
Understand that everything is always as it SHOULD be. You may not enjoy the present, yet you better accept the idea that everything required to create current reality was done. The present SHOULD have occurred as it is now.
It is unrealistic and playing GOD to believe that reality SHOULD not have happened the way it happened. Reality is as it exists. Every prerequisite was met. To demand "it" SHOULD not have taken place will upset you and buy you 2 problems for the price of 1. And by demanding "it" SHOULD not have occurred, you fail to accept what happened.
If we don't like the present, we may alter it if possible and prevent what occurred from happening in the future
Reasonable "shoulds" refer to current reality and can be observed clearly by others. Unreasonable "shoulds" are based on the idea that things SHOULD occur because we demand they do. Not based on present observations, unreasonable shoulds are often grounded in the notion that what is correct for us is right for everyone. Example: Mensing's truths should work for everybody.
Typical should phrases: "I should." "They must." "The world ought." "I've got to." "They have to." "They deserve."
To test your "should" laws & rules--ask the following questions:
*What law in the universe says you must or they should?
*What evidence is there that you or they must or should?
*Who or what creates this commandment?
*Would a want or a preference give you or them more of a choice?
*Does being demanding and unyeilding motivate you or others?
*How would you talk a friend out of this must or should?
*Are there others who don't share your "should" rule?
*Do you down yourself or others for not living up to your demanding rule?
*Is your should rule humane?
*Would you apply this same rule to someone you loved or was a friend?
*Is this belief based on facts or is it reflexive and negatively judgemental?
*Where is it written that what you want, you must get?
*What are the advantages and disadvanteges in choosing to prefer or want over shoulding or musting?
LABELING: Here we overgeneralize with the "verb to be" about ourselves, others, things, events, & the world. Example: "I'm no good." "I'm worthless." "I'm a failure." "They are slobs." "New York is a totally sick place." "Everything is no good." By overgeneralizing with "labeling" we, they, or it becomes one behavior, trait or quality. Example: I failed a geometry test--I'm a failure. Or they behaved badly--they are bad.
Sometimes we might label the world, things, and events with an overgeneralized tag. Example: Philadelphia is a snake pit. Or my job is the pits. Obviously Philadelphia and jobs contain far more than negative qualities. If we label, it is better to choose labels that carry the notion that we and everything in this world are multi-faceted and contain many, many positive, neutral, and negative qualities.
Recommended labels for the self: "I'm a multi-faceted person." "I'm a person with many positive, neutral, and some negative qualities." "I'm human with a wide range of qualities." These labels apply to others as well.
Recommended labels for things, events, and the world: "It is multi-faceted." "It has many positive, neutral, and negative qualities."
If you are labeling, ask yourself the following questions:
*Do you have millions of traits & behaviors? Are some negative, positive, or even neutral?
*How can you just be one or a few traits & behaviors?
*Can you choose not to rate yourself by a gross overgeneralization?
*Is viewing yourself as just one or a few traits an overgeneralization?
*List some of your many positive & neutral traits & behaviors.
*Is it arbitrary to assign points to a trait or a behavior? How many points do you get added or subtracted for fallen arches?
NEGATIVE PREDICTIONS/FORTUNE TELLING. You predict the future will provide failure or danger. "I'll screw things up and I'll fail." "I won't get employment." "She'll drop me like a hot potatoe."
*What exactly is your prediction? When and where will it happen?
*Is there any evidence that it won't happen or that it will happen? Is the evidence good enough?
*Are you using any thought distortions to support the belief?
*Could you survive and accept this prediction even if the worst happened?
*Isn't it always possible that something good or bad could happen to me?
*Have you ever made incorrect predictions previously?
*What is the worst, best, and most probable outcome?
*Write out three possible outcomes in detail.
NEGATIVE HINDSIGHT/SHOULD'VE DONE BETTER IN THE PAST:
Here we believe we should've done better or said the right thing. "I should've known better." "I should've never said that."
Some questions to check out negative hindsight?
*Did I really know better at the time?
*What exactly was my regret?
*Does having negative hindsight motivate me to do better now or am I just chastising myself?
*What's the evidence for and against my negative hindsight? What's the quality of that evidence?
*Should you know what to do or say everytime? Is that humanly possible?
*Can you really fortell how things turnout or never make errors?
*Did you make a good choice given the information and how you felt at that time? Didn't your choice seem right or mostly right at that time?
*How does making a mistake magically turn you into a negative label?
*Would it be more beneficial to find a way to do better next time instead of pounding on yourself with a negative label?
*What did you learn from the event? Can you do better the next time you run into similar circumstances?
NEEDING NONNECESSITIES: Here we employ words like need, must have, got to have, require, and can't do without. Our desires and wants become elevated into needs and dire neccessities (water, food, oxygen etc.) for living and for happiness. Feelings of desperation and craving are set off by needing nonnecessities. Overcome this challenge by knowing you desire or want what you don't truly need. Better use words like: "want", "desire", "prefer", & "would strongly like."
If you have been needing nonneccessities, ask yourself the following questions:
*Would you die if you did not have it?
*Is this truly necessary for survival or enjoyment?
*Is this an important as food, oxygen, & protection from the elements?
*Could you find pleasure doing something else or being with someone else?
*Does your feelings of desperation or craving actually prove you need something or do they reflect your belief that you "need" something?
*Is this something you need or something you want?
*Can you accept yourself and treat yourself in a loving & caring manner?
ABSOLUTIZING: With this challenge we employ words like always, never, all the time, forever, totally, continually, not ever, eternally, unceasingly, absolute, incessant, completely, entire, whole, and unrelenting. Absolutizing words mean 100% of the time with no exceptions. Often these words are linked to anger, depression, and impatience. Example: Victor is "never" on time. Or Sally "always" gets it wrong. If we are absolutizing we better use more accurate words like: "frequently", "infrequently", "sometimes", "often", "a good deal of the time", "every once in awhile", "intermittently", and "partially". These words lead to less upsetting emotional responses.
If you are absolutizing, ask yourself the following questions:
*Does this happen sometimes, frequently, or even infrequently?
*What percentage of the time does this occur?
*What would the frequency of occurance appear like on a guage?
*Is it really the entire situation or just a part or a percentage of it?
*You mean always, in every single instance?
*Does it ever stop? Has it ever stopped before?
MIND READING/JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS: We assume we know another's thoughts, motivations, and feelings without them actually telling us or against their protests. When we jump to conclusions we base our conclusions on slim or no evidence. Trying to read another's mind or making inferences based on little evidence are samples of this kind of thinking. Example: She loves me because she smiled at me. Another form of mind reading is assuming that others should be able to read your mind and know what you're thinking, feeling, and intending without you having to tell them.
If we tend to jump to conclusions, better examine our evidence closely or make sure we have enough. Better yet is to ask specifically what the other person is thinking, feeling, or intending. Otherwise we run the risk of seeing them in a distorted fashion. We may project others from our past onto mindread persons or we may project our own thoughts, feelings and intentions.
Problems with mind reading may start when we:
*Make conclusions based on past behavior.
*Make conclusions based on the assumption of what we would think and feel in the same position.
*Make a conclusion on what you desire the answer to be.
*Make a conclusion on insufficient evidence or data.
*Make a conclusion based on cultural stereotypes or personality differences.
*Make a conclusion based on misperceiving what you see or hear.
Ask yourself these questions when you assume you know what the other person is feeling, thinking, and intending:
*Is what you believe they're thinking or feeling something they actually told you?
*What's the evidence that this is going to happen or you going on an untested assumption?
*How do you specifically know she or she thinks or feels this way?
*Is it possible that these might be your own thoughts and feelings and not his/hers? Or do these thoughts and feelings seem like they belong to someone else in the past?
*Describe in specifics what you believe they believe.
*Have you ever been wrong at mind reading before?
*What's the evidence for and against reading another's mind?
*If the loss of approval is involved, how do you know they disapprove you?
*How might you feel and behave differently if you didn't practice mind reading?
*Are there any thought distortions you're using to support your assumption that you know what they're thinking, feeling, or intending? *Is there a pattern of thinking others don't like or approve?
IMPOSSIBLE-IZING: Here we make difficult tasks into impossible tasks by using words like too difficult, too hard, impossible, unbelievably hard, too much, can't, and not a chance. Ask yourself if you could complete the task with the help of a support team, machines, or computers. Perhaps the task could be completed if you had new information. Further, could you complete the task if you just stuck with it or knew you would receive 2 million dollars or some other valuable reward? How would the task look to you if you broke it down into small manageable units rather that an overwhelming whole? Is it really impossible if you did it step by step? Remove "too" from difficult, hard, and much. Replace "can't" with can and will do. If you are impossible-izing, we better use words such as: "can", "possible", "possible with help", "difficult", "hard", "manageable", and "stong possibility".
If you are impossible-izing, ask yourself the following questions:
*Can you view the task in small manageable units and do it step by step?
*Could you do it for 2 million dollars or some other valued reward?
*Could you complete the task if your life depended on it?
*Could you do the task if you had more information, a brain trust, computer support, large machinery, a team, or some other form of assistance?
*Is it really impossible? Has anyone accomplished this before?
*If you previously made mistakes, does it hold that you will always make the same mistake?
*Was a previous failure just an unwanted result or learning experience on the way to your goal?
DESERVINGNESS: With this challenge we believe we have a @#%$ from the universe that entitles us to get what we desire. Typical deservingness words are: deserve, special, merit, worthy of, right to, should have, mandate, or must get. Such thoughts fire up entitlement and anger. We may want or desire something, yet that does not prove we merit it. If you believe you deserve, better use words like: "want", "prefer", "desire", or "would strongly like to have".
If you have the challenge of deservingness, ask yourself:
*Where did you get the certification
*Does the universe single you out as a special case?
*Where is the proof that you deserve?
*Are you ordained, exempted, or certified special? By whom or what?
*What happens if the person you are dealing with also has a special certificate?
*Who or what creates your deservingness?
*Where is it written in the Bible that you are a special case?
DISBELIEF: With this style of thinking we erase the reality of a situation. In unbelief we refuse to accept what happened as really what happened. Here we deny and create feelings of unreality and numbness. When we are practicing unbelief we use such words as: unreal, I can't believe it, unbelievable, this should not be happening, weird, wacky, incredible, implausable, and absurd. Better accept the reality of the situation and deal with the absolutistic thinking and imagery that may be occurring. Better use words like: "this is really happening", "real", "believable", "credible", "part of life", "this really should be happening".
If you use Disbelief, ask yourself the following questions:
*Why should this not have happened?
*Where is the evidence this is unbelievable?
*If it happened, why must it not have happened?
*What would two other observers tell you about what just took place?
*If all the prerequisites were there, what is the evidence it should not have occurred?
UNFAIR & UNJUST: Believing others act unfairly or unjustly toward you, is buying the notion that everyone shares the same vision of fairness or justice. Observe labor/management disputes. Both sides often believe their wants are fair and just, yet their visions are seldom in agreement. Demanding fairness or justice is another form of shoulding or deservingness. Typical unfair & unjust words are: unfair, unjust, isn't right, inequitable. If we are employing unfair & unjust, we better use words like: "prefer", "want", "desire", and "would strongly like".
If you employ unfair & unjust thinking, ask yourself the following questions:
*Does everyone share the same view of justice or fairness?
*Is there a universal rule of justice that everyone recognizes?
*Have you observed people or parties disagree over what's right, fair, or just?
*Why must others hold your view?
OVERGENERALIZING: Here several instances of a category are seen as an entire category. Overgeneralizing comes in two basic flavors. (1) An event happens and we conclude it will occur again & again. Example: I got fired, I'll always be fired. (2) You evaluate yourself, another person, or the world by one or a few traits. Example: I got rejected, I'm a reject.
If you overgeneralize, focus on: (1) Frequency of occurence. This will give you a more realistic view. (2) That you recognize everything and every person possesses positive, neutral, and negative qualities.
Here's some questions you can ask:
*Are you or they just one trait or several, or many like most people?
*Just because it happened once before, does it follow that it will ALWAYS happen?
*How often does this happen?
*How would the frequency of happening appear on a guage set from 1 to 20 with 1 being "not happening" and 20 "happening all the time".
*What do you specifically predict about another's behavior?
*What's the evidence for and against this belief? What's the quality of that evidence?
*Do others see this situation the same way?
VIEWING ONLY THE NEGATIVE: This mindset has us seeing only the negative while filtering out the positive. Example: My wife did 7 really helpful things for me today, yet I only recall her failure to take a message when someone called.
If you sometimes view only the negative, practice looking at what good or neutral things are happening in your life. You may want to make daily lists for several weeks to remind yourself of what is positive and neutral.
Here's some questions you can ask yourself:
*Did positive or neutral things happen?
*If someone else was watching this situation, what positive or neutral things might they notice?
*What's the evidence for and against noticing only the negatives? What's the quality of that evidence?
*Would others see this situation the same way?
*Notice what's positive and keep a daily record of it.
*What are the advantages and disadvantages of viewing only the negative?
*What information are you ignoring or denying?
*What happens to you if you acknowledge positives and neutrals?
*What would happen if everyone adopted a code of viewing only the negative?
BLACK & WHITE THINKING: Events are seen in black & white only with no neutral shades of gray. Or we see either/or situations, all or nothing, or one way or the other. These kinds of thinking signal we are not recognizing middle grounds, gray zones, average, or neutral areas. Most events don't occur in black or white or all-or-nothing terms without middle grounds. A black & white thinking example: If he's not a good guy, then he's a crook. Or if my performance wasn't great, then it stunk.
If your thinking sometimes goes to blacks & whites, look at average, middle grounds, neutral, and gray areas.
Here's some questions you can ask yourself:
*Is there something average going on here?
*Do you notice a middle ground?
*How about a gray area?
*Does this impose inhuman standards?
*Can you define exactly what your labels are? (Loser, worthless, great guy, superman). Where does you label actually fit on a scale between 1 and 20?
*How much of the time is the negative label true?
*What is the evidence for and against this kind of thinking?
*How would you prove black and white thinking is incomplete?
FAULT FINDING: Here we hunt for someone or something to blame. Example: If I didn't send Bobo to art school I'd be a millionaire. In fault finding we generally believe in one cause and one effect. Actually if we look at a situation from different perspectives we can find multiple causes and multiple effects. Fault finding is a serious waste of time that hampers finding solutions. Often when fault finding is applied to a person, we label that person and defocus from the behaviors that require change. The human brain is a wonderful device. It can come up with tons of causes, effects, and reasons after the fact. Fault finding, when applied to people, creates anger and guilt. It wastes energy better spent on solutions and changes in behavior.
If you sometimes find fault, blame the entire universe for 2 seconds, then focus on what requires change.
Here's questions we can ask ourselves:
*What were some of the other possible causes?
*Would someone else see someone or something else to blame?
*Is there a solution to find, rather then spend time blaming?
*What is your specific blaming statement?
*What is the evidence that supports your belief? What is the quality of it?
*Considering possible causes of the event, what is the percentage of blameworthiness the person(s), situations, luck, mechanical failure, gravity, etc
COMPARING: We build others up so we can compare ourselves to them and then put ourselves down. Or we build ourselves up and put them down. Example: Freddy owns a mansion and a yacht and all I have is a surfboard. I must be a loser. Comparing is another waste of energy. When we compare we are buying labels. Every person has positive, neutral, and negative aspects.
If you tend to compare, then look at what is good or right with you or the other person.
Here's questions to ask yourself:
*What's good about you?
*What's good about the other person?
*What is your specific statement or judgement?
NIXING THE POSITIVE: Here we explain away positive events. Example: I would not have passed the test unless I got lucky. Or winning the Nobel Prize was nothing much--I had terrific lab equipment.
If you tend to nix the positive, practice accepting what good comes your way. Note how your efforts were involved in the positive outcome.
Here's questions to ask yourself:
*What was your responsibility for this good thing happening?
*Can you begin to notice the good things you did?
*What is the evidence for and against nixing the positives?
*Would you count these qualities or behaviors as positives if someone you really loved, liked, or admired had them or did them?
*What specifically are you discounting?
*Keep a record of postives in a daily log. What do you notice after 7 days?
GUT THINKING: Here you base your evidence on your surface feelings. Feelings can be as distorted as the beliefs, images, and thoughts creating them. Feelings are not facts nor are they deeper intuitions. Your feelings mirror your attitudes and if your attitudes are distorted, you can guarantee your evidence will also be distorted. Example: I feel in my bones this isn't going to be my year. Or I feel like I'm going to get assassinated if I go to next week's Shriner's meeting.
Examples of gut thinking:
*I feel stupid.
*It feels like nothing will ever change.
If you tend to gut think, check out the beliefs & images behind your feelings. Look at the evidence.
*Examine your specific gut thought.
*What's the difference between an emotion and a fact?
*What's the evidence for and against gut thinking? What's the quality of that evidence?
*What advice might you offer a friend who relied on their emotions to decide about reality?
Here's some questions to ask yourself:
*Because something feels true or real, does that make it true or real?
*Where's the evidence that because something feels real, that it is real?
*Haven't people felt and believed the Earth is flat and that the Sun revolved around the Earth?
EXPANDING: Here we exaggerate small weaknessness or defects. Example: Making an error on the spelling bee was a disaster! Or my left nostril is slightly larger than the other--it destroys my face.
If we expand, let us look at these deficiencies in the light of the larger context and accept what we can't change. Let us take into consideration what works and what is positive.
Here's questions to ask yourself:
*Is this an exaggeration?
*Am I making this larger than it actually is?
*How might others view this?
CONTRACTING: Here we minimize assets or diminish the positive. Example: Winning the Super Bowl 3 years straight was nothing much. Or sure she's brainy, but she never uses it.
If we contract the positive, let us accept what is positive and enjoy it.
*Am I minimizing what I do?
*How might others view this?
EXPECTATION/ASSUMPTIONS: With this style of thinking we expect or assume a certain outcome and notice only minimal supporting evidence. Usually this evidence confirms your anxieties, fears, anger, or predjudices. You gloss over or ignore other explanations or potential solutions. Example: "Going on this job interview will lead to nothing." Often assumptions are constructed from popular beliefs, yet untested beliefs. Assumptions form the basis of some decisions and ways we filter our experience.
*How can I know the future without being there?
*What are the other possible outcomes? Are there possible positive or neutral outcomes?
PERFECTIONISM: We believe we can be perfect and live up to a superhuman standard. This thinking does not account for our innate tendency to make errors. Example: I should perform flawlessly and never make mistakes.
If you tend toward perfectionism, recognize you are a fallible human who can only do his or her human best. You do not need to be perfect to accept yourself and treat yourself in a loving and caring manner.
Here's some questions to ask yourself?
*What law in the universe says you must be perfect or perform perfectly?
*Are not mistakes valuable learning experiences?
*Can you learn from your mistake and do it over?
EMOTIONAL IRRESPONSIBILITY: We make others and events the sole cause of our emotional reactions instead of seeing the role our evalautions and beliefs play in the intensity and duration of our emotional states. Because of this we may mistakenly try to control others to control our emotions.
*Isn't the way I think about this situation impacting on how I feel?
*What do I believe here? Doesn't it make me feel a certain way?
*Where is the evidence that I'm completely responsible for this?
PERMANENT CONDITIONS: Taking a temporary or time limited situation and transforming it into a permanent condition. Examples:
*I lost my job--I'll never work again.
*She shot my proposal down--I'll never be married.
*He/she has always been that way, he/she will never change. They're too old and set in their ways.
Questions to ask yourself:
*Have I ever delt with something like this in the past and did it change?
*Isn't this a time-limited situation?
*Is this a failure or is it feedback about my progress?
*How permanant is this situation?
*Could things change?
*Is there a specific behavior that can be changed?
PERSONALIZING is a cognitive distortion where we: (1) Interpret innocent comments, questions, and behavior of others as an attack on ourselves, our abilities, our appearance, what we own, and personal worth. Example: Betsy tells Mary that her hair looks great today. Mary concludes her hair looked terrible previously. (2) We take personally random events and view them as attacks on us. Example: "That my dog got out of the yard proves I'm a bad pet owner." (3) We attribute a a large portion of blame to ourselves without noticing that certain events may also be caused by others. Example: My job ended because I failed.
Personalizing leads to hurt, anger, guilt, lost opportunities to connect with others, and an inability to notice other folks points of view.
To end personalizing it helps to learn to accept ourselves and to notice the cognitive distortion "personalizing". When we notice we're "personalizing we can ask ourselves questions like:
*What evidence or ideas make you believe this?
*Is there such a thing as dumb luck?
*Does taking things personally motivate you?
*What's the evidence for and against personalizing? What is the quality of that evidence?
*Could their comments be meant positively? What did they specifically say?
*What's the evidence that their comments or laughter were aimed at you? Could it have been about someone else?
*Are we hyperalert for others disapproving of us? Are we vigilant for or expecting negative evaluations from others?
Have fun, Steve